Beauty Enhancer T-Shirts

Botox injections

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

HOLLYPLASTIC

"Stock photo, right?"

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"Supersize me."

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

Institute (brain).

A little powder and a little paint makes a girl what she ain't!

Breast Implants: 'Watch this Space.'

Rhonda was over the moon with the results of her first-ever face-lift.

'Well, what seems to be the problem?'

Medical Silicon Paste.

"Do you ever regret having breast implants when you were younger?"

Vinnie's Tanning Salon.

This is my report on my summer vacation, and that's my script doctor, Murray, who helped me punch it up a bit.

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."

Beauty Salon - Husband says to wife, 'Look, anything will be an improvement!'

Sex Shop

"Like my dazzling smile? My teeth are capped with LEDs."

'Thank goodness for salt and pepper.'

"So you went ahead with the facelift?"

Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'

I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eke out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn off the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.

'I'm flattered by your imitation, unless you just want to be taller than me.'