Beauty Competitions Pillows

Miss America IQ pageant.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'Your shoe's untied.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Miss America IQ Pageant

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Could you repeat that word?"

Can't Touch This

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

Cat medal presentations take a long time

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Quiz Night...

The Unsportables: Relay

First Prize!

100k Desert Crawl

Happy Champion

Jungle Games

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Football.

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

Tortoises breakdancing

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

Competitive tic-tac-toe

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'