Beauty Standards Challenger Pillows

"You can't hold yourself to those impossible standards."

"I want something that will make me smell thinner."

"Naturally curly hair."

Magic mirror on the wall

Do not think outside the box!

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

Missing my hair.

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

The return of Miss Subways

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

Romee Strijd caricature

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

sale

A bald man is chasing his toupee with a butterfly net

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

'Irregular heartbeat. Due to irregular exercise.'

'Your fitness regime hasn't worked headmaster. The gym floor collapsed.'

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.