Beauty Standards Challenger Pillows

"You can't hold yourself to those impossible standards."

"I want something that will make me smell thinner."

"Naturally curly hair."

Magic mirror on the wall

Do not think outside the box!

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

Missing my hair.

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

The return of Miss Subways

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Bar Refaeli

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

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Romee Strijd caricature

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

Katy Perry

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

A bald man is chasing his toupee with a butterfly net

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

"In my culture it is very important to have straight teeth."

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

'Irregular heartbeat. Due to irregular exercise.'

"Yes. I think I've got enough for a man bun."

"Excuse me, but where exactly are we being led?"

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'