Beard Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Oh, he hates the itching and scratching, but he's terrified of lip readers.'

"Well, at least he accomplished something during the lockdown."

"Money or your beard!"

Hipsters knit their beards.

"Very good Mr Johnson. Now perhaps you could repeat your proposal whilst simultaneously stroking your beard? Somehow that makes you more convincing..."

When beardy blokes meet...

"Do you have light and an extinguisher?"

Santa shaves

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.

"Dad, when someone your age grows a beard it's cultural appropriation."

Back-Stage Shaving

Beard must be this long to wear this t-shirt.

'You smell like mothballs.'

Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.

Strategic Growth.

Pick your own whiskers.

"As soon as vacation's over, off it comes."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Joined at the hipster.

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

wattle covers

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

The Beard in the Stone

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

'Long shift?'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Bearded Leftie.

Shakespeare Quote