Bear Market Juggler T-Shirts

Stock market recession strategy.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Sub-prime Bear

'Time to buy.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'The market shifted on me.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

The stock market sky is falling.

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

Money mangagement see-saw.

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

Businessman on a Slippery Downward Slide.

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

"Never mind what's in the box. That'll be discussed at the end of the month."

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'You think I'M stressed out... wait till this check BOUNCES.'

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

Executive sitting behind desk with one box labelled 'Bid' and the other box labelled 'Ask'.

'Our finances remind me of a Picasso painting. He had his Rose and Blue periods. Our checkbook has its Red and Black periods.'

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'