Bean Counter Bard Pillows

At a creative writing workshop for accountants.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

"These here accountants should be ready just in time for tax season."

C.P.A.

Entry level astronomer...

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Tax - Random Audit

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"Of course I tastes like mud - it's fresh ground...!"

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

'Remember the Magic Bean Project that we shut down last week?'

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

'Here's your 'Christmas Festive Fayre' menu...everything is off except the beans.'

'50 of the population spends more than they earn. That's where we come in.'

The Creature of the Black Legume

I'd like to investigate your tax return!