Beagles Pillows

'Welcome to beagle island.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Countervailing Clichés.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"The bagels are better in New York."

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

Bagel problems.

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

Bagel Story

The exciting new M-2000 Winnebagel / A Winnebago in the form of a Bagel.

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

"How long have you had this nightmare of being shot down by a beagle on a flying doghouse, Herr Von Richthofen?"

Lox Ness Monster

"How do you keep a bagel from getting away?"

Almost Everything Bagel

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

"It's non-negotiable."

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

Must you be so judgmental?

"Everything bagel?"

Big Apple Bears

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."