Beachcomber At Heart Gifts

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'Sand shark!!'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

A man plays golf by the sea

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"...it's another metal detector."

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

'We hope to invest in a few start-ups with national franchise potential.'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

'Let's follow this guy you said, he seems to know the way!'

'Do they make one of those that finds lost bones?'

'Don't they look silly?'

Academics at the Beach: "Camus might agree with you. De Beauvoir? Maybe. But Sartre? Never."

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

'Oh no! A Portuguese Man of War.'

'This is unbelievable. I see the message in the bottle is from 1906.'

Man with metal detector finds metal on beach, but it's a buried metal detector and its owner is also dead and buried.

'Never use this alley way, it's a mugger's paradise.'

Coast to coast walk.

A Man is stranded on a desert island with a pay phone.

"Formidable, huh? Which reminds me … your mother called."

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

Landscape Painter

"It looks as though it's inhabited."

'It always amazes me how after a long summer break...with sea, sand, margaritas on the beach and an absence of the cut and thrust of the office...'

"You'll like global warming because the seas will rise and this beach will be under water."

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

Lighting the Lighthouse

"I like my kids well done, don't you?"

"Damn it looks like we're marooned on a desert island in Tomorrows cartoon!"

This is unbearable. I can't beleive I let my sand wedge on the ship.