Sun-loving Beachcomber Gifts

'I think your pot has roasted.'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

A man plays golf by the sea

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"...it's another metal detector."

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'Let's follow this guy you said, he seems to know the way!'

'Do they make one of those that finds lost bones?'

'The New York stock exchange is up twelve and a half points n early trading. Nasdaq is down on and a quarter!'

Academics at the Beach: "Camus might agree with you. De Beauvoir? Maybe. But Sartre? Never."

'Don't they look silly?'

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

'Oh no! A Portuguese Man of War.'

The Old Woman who lived in a Shoe's Beachside Place.

'Look...people are waving at us!...Wave Back!'

Man with metal detector finds metal on beach, but it's a buried metal detector and its owner is also dead and buried.

Coast to coast walk.

"Formidable, huh? Which reminds me … your mother called."

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

"It looks as though it's inhabited."

'Well, here we are... stranded on a cliché.'

'Sand shark!!'

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

"You'll like global warming because the seas will rise and this beach will be under water."

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

Lighting the Lighthouse

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

"I like my kids well done, don't you?"

"Damn it looks like we're marooned on a desert island in Tomorrows cartoon!"

This is unbearable. I can't beleive I let my sand wedge on the ship.