Beach Explorer Gifts

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

'Oh Frank, let's not swim here: It looks like a nudist-beach...'

'Ready sweety? Here we go!'

Man with a metal detector who finds iron man at the shore.

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"There'll be another case of deliberate nobbling if I get my hands on you lot."

"Okay, you were right. I shouldn't have eaten that dead jellyfish that washed up on the beach."

'No Junior, we're not going home yet. We have to wait till high tide to float your father.'

'OK, kids, fun's fun, but the tide is... hey, wait!'

European Turtles

'I wondered why you were so keen on getting me swimming.'

Husband burrows under sand to get a closer look at woman sunbathing topless at the beach.

'You're right, son - there are no tiles around this swimming pool...'

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

Water Slide

Fish astronaut stands proudly on a beach.

Building a sandcastle and children's imagination.

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

Little boy not wanting to bathe

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

Hey, I think I found something! Heavy Metal Detector. (Published originally on September 1, 2010.)

"Harold, is that you?"

Metal Detector Man

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Local Knowledge

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Captain in a storm

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Holy cow, Kenny, look at the size of that thing! It's huge, I tell ya'! And the teeth! The teeth!"

Try me/try me/try me...

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Houston, we have a problem.'