Beach Bather Gifts

'No. It's not a past girlfriend. I'm a tort lawyer.'

Man squeezing a sausage out of his hot dog roll

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

'All right, guys, I got it, you forgot about me… didn't you?'

"Put those boobs away, miss. You can't go around without your shirt."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Club Antisocial

'He lives for his holidays.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Working Holiday

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'More bubbles!'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Surf Casting

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

Pina Coladas

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Iliadette.

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Try me/try me/try me...

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Sunbathers.

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Privates Beach"

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'