Beach Bather Gifts

'No. It's not a past girlfriend. I'm a tort lawyer.'

Man squeezing a sausage out of his hot dog roll

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

To sing up for premium commercial-free sounds of the ocean, log onto ...

'All right, guys, I got it, you forgot about me… didn't you?'

"Put those boobs away, miss. You can't go around without your shirt."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Club Antisocial

'He lives for his holidays.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Working Holiday

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Surf Casting

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Pina Coladas

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

'More bubbles!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Iliadette.

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

Try me/try me/try me...

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Privates Beach"