Battle Beast Gifts

I would love to learn Karate, but Dad insists I do Boxing instead: He says I have natural disposition for it...

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"But I use all of them!"

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'How's that, Umpire?'

The pet shop of Doctor Moreau

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

Floating Dragon

Elephant lifts weight gains trunk muscle...

"Don't forget to put it on the 'grainy' setting!"

"What do you think the delivery time is on a drone pizza?"

"What the hell was in that?!"

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

"Hmm. . . I'd better keep THIS quiet. . .!"

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

"Lovely weather for it."

'Besides delivering never-ending eternal suffering,how do you want to be portrayed to your customers?' - Web Design.

"These 'off the grid' holidays are terrifying."

"Whaddya mean, 'abominable?' - it came 2nd!!!"

Rafael Nadal

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

'Ted has devised a simple chart that explains why we need to quit buying so much stuff.'

'You know, Leon, this is much easier now that they've come out with these convenient pop-tops.'

Uniporn

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"There's another one of those abominable mountain climbers."

The real reason bears lose weight when they hibernate.

'Happy Valentine's Day!'

Yeti hunters drag it to a barbershop.

"Oh I don't know pumpkin, it's a big commitment - you'll have to walk it, train it, feed it live flesh."

"He's fine, he's the lot less monster."

"Y'know, I'm also into gene editing."

Loch Ness Monster: Silly Ness, Busi Ness, Sexy Ness.

Two Men In A Tank.