Battery Hoarder Gifts

Santa with a bag of toys and a bag of batteries for toys.

'If I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for him, I wouldn't have to work. Now, hand over all of your AA batteries.'

AA Meeting Here Today

'That's our mission statement.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

Lithium Fair

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

"Run! My laptop is so full of apps, downloads, old documents, screenshots and junk files, it's about to explode!"

"I've never seen such destruction on a phone. What happened?"

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

'Oh, he was bored with the toys within hours, but he's still enjoying the batteries.'

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

'Dad, all I got are batteries for my birthday!'

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

Everyday is cyber Monday.

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"I save all my old computers, monitors and devices. I have a hard time letting go."

"You have 2,974 tabs open. I suggest closing about 2,970 of them. That may speed up your computer."

'John's found it harder to kick his eBay habit than drugs.'

Data stored in the cloud effect star gazing even more than city lights.

"She’s getting the house and cars, but you get to retain all your unique streaming services passwords."

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

"I'm sorry I accidentally threw the USB flash drive away. If we go through the trash, we can find it. It should only take a few years."

'Who has the remote?'