Bathroom Makeover Aficionado Pillows

'Can I have a word with you about the sunken bath you fitted for me....'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

WC problem.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'Hmmmm...lower.'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'They had a sale on electric green.'

Planner at work.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

Lady convincing her husband to have wallpaper instead of plaster.

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

Junior's Towel

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."