Basketball Buffs Pillows

James Naismith

"Why does he keep in the same players?"

Allen demonstrates his lightning-quick crossover dribble.

(K)nic(K)^4

'There's more to life than winning and losing in sports. There's also winning and losing in sports celebrity lawsuits.'

'This is Role Model Man. He is our new assistant coach in charge of projecting a positive image to impressionable young minds.'

"Good game."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Salmon Run

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Why moms make bad refs.

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Playing pig

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

I love Basketball.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

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Basketball.

Puppy.

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Kobe Bryant

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'