Basketball Buff Pillows

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'All your shots are coming up short, so to strenghten your arms, you'll be practicing with a larger ball.'

'Major confession, Sid. Ready for this? If I didn't know it was you standing three feet away, you'd be nothing more than a blur...'

Nuclear Waste.

Local Basketball coverage: we don't miss a dribbleb

'You're right. These are great seats."

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

'Jiggles is out for the season... he broke his funny bone.'

'Ludwig's still injured. He's traveling with the team, but I didn;t let him suit up.'

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

POINT-SHAVING SCANDAL

'Cool! Hold long does it hold a charge?'

'Go check on Chad. He either tore some ligaments, or his 48-hour life span just ended.'

"Good game."

Golfing Boss

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Salmon Run

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Why moms make bad refs.

I love Basketball.

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'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

Puppy.

Basketball.

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'