Bashful Buddy Pillows

'Come on dear, don't be shy: This little she-chameleon just wants to play...'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I think it stopped breathing."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"My therapist plays with my brain."

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

Turning off the thinking lightbulb at home time.

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

This here's my kitty! I call er Whiskers!

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'I don't know much about Art, but i can tell you all about his wife.'

Bashful Royal Guard

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

Brain Exercise Video: "Okay, think...and stop...and think, and stop! Stay with me now! Think harder! Feel that burn!"

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'