Barrister For Pets Pillows

"My attorney has advised me that your commands to sit, stay, or shake hands in no way obligate me to comply..."

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I love Lawyers

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Bailiff."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

Law School teacher.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."