Barnyard Gigglers T-Shirts

'Psst...Fran...your house door is open.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

Dedication to excellence....

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

A Cow Striptease

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"What are you in for?"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Balding gnomes

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."