Barkside Romantic Pillows

"Of course, all the good ones are fixed."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Dog in love

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"I always knew you'd come back."

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Life is simpler in the sticks.

"Who wants to go to the park and find me a date?"

'Can't we ever just have a conversation?'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Proposal on a snowboard

Shepherd

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

The pen is mightier than the sward.

Christmas Cow.

"Is that true love or what? My masters are vegetarians, but they still buy me juicy bones..."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

The cattle grid, the bane of cow and supermodel alike!

...and I see the catering is sorted.

Brown cow

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

Sheep

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.

Rural Cityscape

'I'm off to the city for some peace and quiet.'

"You're really crazy about that girl, aren't you, boy."

You have reached your destination... Shat Nav

SWM highway patrolman in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your motorcycle.

She was his star, and he followed her career closely.

"When this is all over, let's move to the sticks."

'That settles it, we're not ducks!'

He gave her a big bear hug. The kind that says, I love you, I'll never leave you, I'm possessive, needy and insecure.

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.