Barking Up The Right Tree Gifts

"By offering your home as security, you are giving the lender a legal claim to your property."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Monkey-artist

'Arf! Arf!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

Dog phrenology

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

"Another slander suit!"

"I yip, therefore I am."

Dog in therapy.

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

The Inner Dog.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

One giant bark for dogkind.

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'He's barking mad!'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Dog

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'