Barking Barrister Appreciator Pillows

'Looks like another tear jerker.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Arf! Arf!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Dog phrenology

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

Dog in therapy.

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Dog

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

"It's non-negotiable."

'Finishing law school was easy compared to finding an office.'

'Why is it he never understands sit,stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

Descartes' dog.

"Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am, but we've had some reports of a dog barking."

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

'Stop barking, Winston!'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'