Barking Barrister Appreciator T-Shirts

'Looks like another tear jerker.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Arf! Arf!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Dog phrenology

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

Dog in therapy.

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

Select a song: Another Dog Barking. Lots of Other Dogs Barking. Howling. Siren. Doorbell. Dog Karaoke.

Dog

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Finishing law school was easy compared to finding an office.'

"It's non-negotiable."

'Why is it he never understands sit,stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Descartes' dog.

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark. The Dog's Muse.

"Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am, but we've had some reports of a dog barking."

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

'Stop barking, Winston!'