Bark Buster Pillows

"It all started when the neighbour bought a leaf blower..."

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

Yap yap yap yap yap yap yap. If that's the neighbor's dog, I'm not here.

Noise machines for dogs.

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Dogs

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

'I found him on the internet.'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

Joe hasn't been the same since training for that new biathlon--bronco busting and sumo wrestling.

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

The Inner Dog.

"He's sending an instant message."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

'Can't one eat in peace!'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

'Will work for tummy rub.'

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

'No, no, no I said SIT'

Dog barks at himself in a mirror.

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

"Bork! Bork!"

"I didn't have much of a life before Corky, so he was a rescue."

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

'We double-dog dare you.'

'Since my bone marrow transplant, the dog doesn't know me!'