Bargain Bandit Pillows

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Yard sale sign states: Profits Go 4 Gas.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

Beach con-man.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Cut Price

Will work for ETFs

SALE

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Fish talking about fisherman

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Countervailing Clichés.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"How soon will this be a remnant

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'