Barfly Reveler Gifts

Boy, "Happy Hour" here is just awful! If you think this is bad, you should probably leave before seven o'clock. That's when "Open Sobbing Hour" kicks in.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Fried chickens.'

"Catnip for everyone."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

"What would you like me to play next?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'