Barely Coping Enthusiast Pillows

'I'll tell you what life's all about...'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

A man cheers

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"She gets her musical ability from me."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'I'll do half of it.'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

Grumpy Old Men

"Waiter, I'd like to have Black Rhino for dessert!"

No Action Comics

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

"I propose we meet in the middle."

You need to transfer your fear of the falling stock market into a healthy activity. Try skydiving.

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Cat in bandages and on a crutch.

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'A simple bottle would have sufficed for your specimen, Mr Thomas.'

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

"I've always worked from home."

"And together they soldiered onward, to distant horizons more splendid than either of them had ever dared to dream."

Do you have to do everything at the last minute?

"...as of noon today, we became a non-profit making organisation."

Fred thought he was following orders when he began the war on terriers.

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'