Bare-it-all Believer Gifts

'I couldn't find a thing not to wear.'

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

Ghost School.

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'Now that we've moved to this nudist colony, I suppose we should send everyone a change of undress notice!'

"Yes, Jimmy, this is how you'll look if you keep working out with your rubber strap!"

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

Less is less

'As I'm sure you all remember, right here is when we all stopped caring!'

There's no such word as "can't".

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

"Isn't Bill going a little too green?"

'Will Tuesday afternoon be satisfactory?'

"You mean to say, you don't even have broadband?"

A Tailor and a new customer

"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"

Carrier Bag Shame

"That's the first self-help book I wrote. The second two didn't sell nearly as well."

"Jesus, how many times have I told you that's not a toy?"

'Thanks, guys, but I already have a religion.'

"I see prosperity in your future."

Pronudist philatelist.