Barbering Pillows

$2 Hair cut, $20 hats.

"I'd like a style that looks nothing like this."

'Just a little off the bottom.'

"He was in here yesterday. Halfway through he ran out without paying."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

'Your mirror's cracked.' - 'No, that's your head.'

Business is picking up, Mortimer.

"Just a little off the top thanks...!"

'Come back later -- he's grooming his successor.'

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

'I think of my 'bald-patch' as a solar panel for a sex-machine!'

"I want a long hair comb-over fade with the sides tapered and the longer hair on top blended seamlessly into the longer hair on the sides."

Moses the barber - 'Hey, neat part!'

'You wouldn't be so quiet either if you had to sit on this board!'

'Short front and sides, please.'

"I'd like a little more on the back and top, please"

"...and how would sir like it?"

"Be creative...!"

Shaving off a beard

"Oh, he occasionally comes in, sits a while and enjoys his nostalgia."

Deer Barber

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'I bet you show that photo to all your customers!'

'Careful, the aftershave is flammable.'

BARBER

Man with stubble that reads: 'Shave me.'

'Hey-ho. Hair today and gone tomorrow!'

'I have just thing for wiggly, little boys.'

Combs

There's always something you don't want to find out about yourself.

Bald Man Overcomb

'Oh my God!! My hair's falling out!!'

"Fred, I never discuss politics with a man who has a weapon in his hands."