Barbecue Philosopher Gifts

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"If America wasn't America... America would declare war on it."

"How can you be out of wings?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Steak Ted?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

His New Grillfriend

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

Aprons

'Good timing, Pal, good timing.'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

Not only were the bears coming out of hibernation but they went ahead and invited themselves to dinner.

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Future Tents

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."