Barbecue Philosopher Gifts

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"If America wasn't America... America would declare war on it."

"How can you be out of wings?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Steak Ted?'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

His New Grillfriend

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

Aprons

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'Good timing, Pal, good timing.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Not only were the bears coming out of hibernation but they went ahead and invited themselves to dinner.

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

Future Tents

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."