Bar Quip Collector Mugs

"They named me Brockton, after one HELL of a town in Massachusetts."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

Drunken hamster at the bar says to the Easter Bunny: 'You got lucky, Bunny. Things could've been so different for the Harvest Festival Hamster.'

"I'll have an entendre...make it a double."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

'Somebody spiked the punch!'

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

"I hear alcohol slows reactions..."

I drink to forget... which can take for-freakin'-ever when you're an elephant!'

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

'Will the lady be coming back, Sir? She hasn't finished her drink.'

'Another tall, cold one?'

A Day at the Comics Bar

'Look, I don't want any funny business.'

Free jukebox...

'If that's my wife, tell her meow, meuwwf, meew, hiss.'

'Stout has a white head on top.' 'To show you which end to drink first.'

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"

'Oi, you lot, I don't want any funny business.'