Bar Joke Collector Mugs

'Stout has a white head on top.' 'To show you which end to drink first.'

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

'Look, I don't want any funny business.'

Drunken hamster at the bar says to the Easter Bunny: 'You got lucky, Bunny. Things could've been so different for the Harvest Festival Hamster.'

'My leprechaun friend just told me about that guy over there who is talking to an invisible rabbit. Ridiculous, eh?'

"I hear alcohol slows reactions..."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Suffering from Cooties?

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Useless add-ons.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Shark infested custard!

Mexican Jumping Balls.

My daddy ate my homework

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

Psychiatrist - "Doctor, I keep imagining I'm being followed by an impersonator."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Cheating Death.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"Turn your head and cough."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'