Bar Chat Regular T-Shirts

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Watching the football.

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"He's So Your Type."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"Yeah! It was GREAT teaming up with Catwoman. I just wish she didn't sleep for 18 hours a day..."

"It's a full moon somewhere."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Obese beer drinkers.

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

'Muriel and I were like two ships passing in the night -- I was boarded, plundered, and scuttled!'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"Olive, twist, or vole?"

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'