Banquet Aficionado T-Shirts

"Excellency, your medals are in the soup"

'We exposed the bricks.'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Welcome Spring.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Hay Rides $10

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."