Bank Regulation Critic Pillows

"It's a temporary austerity measure, sir - There's a ten-day waiting period for withdrawals."

Standard & Poor

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

Bank Robbery Statistics

'We're sorry. Yesterday's report on the tax system being replaced by voluntary contributions was traced to a practical joker.'

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

Man in church sees sign: Thank you for not yawning.

'You're a bad credit risk so, yes, of course you can have some money.'

'Would you believe that I lost my job just because the banking regulatory authority said that I'm too greedy??!'

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

"I'd heard banks were reluctant to give businesses money - but I didn't think it was this bad..."

Foreclosure.

"Wait, sir. It's a new banking regulation -- You can't leave without depositing something."

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

Your Money Back if and when We Feel Like It.

'Usury' is not a pretty word, Mr. Williams.

"Don't just stand there man. Go rob a few pension funds!"

'Oh well, at least it's breaking up the banks.'

'They're the only people getting any money from banks these days.'

EU bank restructure.

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn...those cretins can't tell the difference...between overdrawn and under-deposited.

"Somewhere to cash a cheque, anywhere to cash a cheque."

'You have been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'We're sorry. Your answer to your secret question was incorrect. Your bank account has therefore been erased from our banking system.'

24hr Loans - Closed all day.