Bandmate Gifts

'Either play faster or get out the band.'

"I'm thinking of getting the old band back together."

Bluegrass Music: 'Don't tell me, let me guess- you're the banjo player!'

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

The Deb Van Trio, The Buzz Lyle Trio, Liza Lindo Trio.

Drummer auditions today 1:00-4:00

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Yearbook

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"I heard they mate for life."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

Big Bang Theory.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

"So, to sum up, I would like to say that Shakespeare is an awesome genius in the same category as Albert Einstein and Jerry Garcia."

'Hey, man, cool shirt.'

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"We've invented a new word!"

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Where Are They Now?'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Buddhist photo albums,

"Miss, I suck at playing the flute."