Bandage Humorists Gifts

"You are so lucky. You are not going to classes for the next six months."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

World Cup Fever

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

Basketball injuries.

Medical Supplies

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"If you need anything just wink."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'Any reason why I can't keep him in that cast?'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'Anything else need tying up?'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

'We may as well make use of you.'

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Eww! -- Is that the only color bandage you have?"

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Keep your eye on the screen, and if anything unexpected happens, push the button!'

It's from your private medical insurance.

"Ooo - nice! What chord was that?"

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'

Carbon Dating Agency

'I found it in the Karma Sutra - it's an old Indian bondage trick.'