Ballpark Buddy T-Shirts

'Look at the foul ball I caught at the baseball game last night.'

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'Super Dog'

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Currently Boston

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

'Sorry, I can't come: Young Master has joined the scouts and tied me up with a fancy knot I can't work out...'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"Do you know what girls want?"

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

TWIN-KILLING CHOREOGRAPHY

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

Boys in the cloakroom.

A boy holding a balloon

"I love you. We all love you. Now throw some strikes."

"Fascinating!"

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

Born to play ball.

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"Had half of Fox-and-Friends gnawing my ass this morning."

The Icebreaker

'No worries, Timmy. We're star athletes. We'll get off with a slap on the wrist for the rest of our lives!'

After the incident with Coach McKracken the Arctic Football League banned drink dumping.

Baseball Angels

Sports Bar ???

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'