Ballon D'or Fan Gifts

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

Bradley Wiggins

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Cat medal presentations take a long time

'The King of what?'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

King and Jester

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Sea Horse outside saloon

The London Olympic bid

"One blackbird pizza?"

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

Finesse fishing

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'We're in luck. Not a word about steroids.'

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

Ballerina Boxer,"She's going for a win on pointes."

Vivaldi and his creative partner

"How did they become our leaders, Dad? There are so many more of us. What's stopping us from charging them and throwing them out of society for good?"