Ball Kicker Gifts

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

'Champions league'

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Professional football.

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

Snooker.

Cat boxer

Ballerina Vs. Martial Artist

'Did you feel the baby kick that time, hon?'

"If the Ref doesn't give that, it's the end of football!"

Football

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

Life hasn't been the same since Mum took up taekwondo!

'Who says you can't fight City Hall?'

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

The Motives of Footballers

'Billy loved to play with his computer'

'I just can't say for certain. They all look the same in those uniforms. ...All I know it that he said he kicks field goals for a living.'

'I want a perfume that will overpower a man. I'm tired of karate!'

"He cost a million pounds, they should've spent another tenner on a pair of glasses."

"I don't understand. I gave up smoking two years ago."

'Heulluva Mark.'

Golfer hanging from tree trying a tricky chip out of the rough.

The God's football

Football

Quite by accident one football hater kicked the ball to the other football hater, who kicked it back again...

'That's the trouble with parks football - there's not much quality on the bench!'

"No thanks. I quit smoking 55 pounds ago."

'Sorry, Roger. I never know when my restless leg syndrome is going to act up.'

'Well you can never be sure, but my guess would be that they lost!'