Balding Sage T-Shirts

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Be creative...!"

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Male Pattern Baldness

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

A fortune cookie for investors.

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

Lion Toupee

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

This salad tastes funky� Is this ranch dressing? Oh, I'm sorry, sir� I thought you ordered raunch dressing.

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

China gets capitalistic in its own way...: 'The Tao is up!'

Whale Pattern Balding

Long and Short Term Investments.

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'This equation of economic theory attempts to predict the results of a speculative trade, a day after it is placed.'

Stockbrokers - The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."

Investor's Nightmare.

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'