Baking Gifts

The Holy Trinity: Salt, Butter and Sugar.

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

'I have your test results. Your sugar is too high.'

"I'm afraid you have a yeast infection."

"Never get a tattoo when you're drunk and hungry."

"Without cookie, me just monster."

"Your Honor, the state has every reason to consider the defendant an extremely high flight risk."

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"You came up in therapy this morning."

"Oh, great! Here comes Valerie to raise the bar."

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Cake!

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

Almost Everything Bagel

Caricature: Nigella Lawson

'Your weight problem is partly genetic and partly Boston Cream pie.'

Santa accepts cookies on a website.

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'I just figure out why this house isn't selling.'

'Skip the meal more room for dessert!'

'Basically, what you're saying is I get a box of chocolate chip cookies and the sixth grade class gets a field trip to Tuscany?'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

"OK, let's hear it. But I'm warning you, it better not be another one of your half-baked ideas."

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

Solving the dropping cake problem.

"Pie charts cost too much. So I ordered tart charts."

'The roof was just re-frosted last year. And did I mention these custom peppermint windows?'

Gingerbread House: Green Building Award - Baked by Elves in Solar Ovens.

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

"Ah! It's that time of year again!"

'How are you not seeing this? Of course doughnuts are a hole food!'