Baker Gifts

"I'm afraid you have a yeast infection."

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

Caricature: Nigella Lawson

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

"OK, let's hear it. But I'm warning you, it better not be another one of your half-baked ideas."

Gingerbread House: Green Building Award - Baked by Elves in Solar Ovens.

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

'Help! I'm a coeliac get me out of here!'

Bake Shop / Crack Co-cake $10.

"Bad news. They found the proof in the pudding."

"To avoid raising prices, we made the hole bigger until the donut finally disappeared."

Egyptian archaeologists discover the world's oldest fruitcake.

"I'm sorry, but I can't sell you one until you give me the correct pronunciation."

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

'We managed to save almost everything in your van from the fire. . . except for the bread. . . it's toast.'

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

'And you didn't think there would be any customers for liver-flavored cupcakes.'

A woman spins a wheel offering 'pie' or 'no pie'.

'Nobody's ordering it. With all due respect, sir-I suggest we give it an easier-to-pronounce name.'

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

Lady of the Cake.

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'It will cost more, but I suggest building from scratch instead of a gingerbread mix.'

Too-Humble Pie.

'Your fat free bit, is right there, in the middle!'

A Bun in the Oven.

"It wasn't the airplanes. 'Twas all these goddam cupcake places killed the beast."

Boulangerie/Patisserie/Debaucherie.

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

Birthday Cakes: Blow Out Sale.

Great Moments in Computer History: Marie Antoinette's spreadsheet shows the peasants have no bread, but lots of cake.