Bagging Strategist T-Shirts

'Would you like Paper of Plastic?'

Chez Nous Menu

Little league world series of poker.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Supermarket Merge

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

'I've got it written down...'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Why is this cart so heavy?"