Bagging Strategist Pillows

'Would you like Paper of Plastic?'

Chez Nous Menu

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

To do before Saturday...

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Only One Item or Fewer.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Artificial Isle

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'But what do you sell?'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'