Badass Planters Gifts

Hell's Allotment Holders.

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Award Winning Gardener

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Planting a Flag on the Summit

Garden seeds - giant varieties

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

I'm looking for a job?

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

'I think this mother might prefer a different planter.'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

Bernard Hinault

'Anything else need tying up?'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"And remember, when repotting your pension, it's best to go down one pot size."

A woman has mini scarecrows in here flower garden.

Woman on Top

"Because we're jerks."

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

'I'm exhausted. I've been grafting all day!'

'Couldn't you do that outside?'

Monster Plant.

Bob's new year's resolution was to give up his obnoxious, monstrous, macho streak...he vowed to ditch the leaf blower!

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

'The bottom of the garden's starting to look like a jungle again Brian.'

Everytime I have a drink I get potted phobia.