Bad Date Experience Gifts

"I'm not proposing marriage, but I'm not ruling it out, either."

"Normally I like men who talk with their hands."

"I miss the days when people were ashamed to admit they met online."

Lonely leg syndrome!

"I can talk about myself for hours on end. If you want to go for more, that's fine..."

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

'You write books, you say!'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

"I'll be honest, Raymond. I really don't give a damn about the wetlands."

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."