Bad Cover Connoisseur Pillows

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'This box usually yields one or two sensible suggestions,four or five stupid ideas,ten to twenty immoral suggestions and several hundred candy wrappers.'

Kanye West

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Gauntlet Cards, Respond at Your Own Risk

Whining about mask wearing

The elephant in the room.

'My dog ate my powerpoint presentation!'

Djokovic Judged

"I am haunted by the idea that the basic axioms on which the arithmetic is based may invalidate these computations."

"Quit judging me."

Tiptoeing around voltometers.

"Mr. Billings isn't avaliable now. Would you like to speak to his apologist?"

'Molly here would like your immediate apology for the substandard service and wilty lettuce on her BLT!'

"'The Donald' wants to refine his message, so he's brought in some consultants."

'Customers aren't paying us because our ads claim that our siding will pay for itself!'

All Danish Mohammed Cartoons, All the Time!