Bacterial Botanist T-Shirts

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

Prize vegetables.

Wildlife

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Wine Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Gardener

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Plant Lady

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Horti-Culture

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Hermit Crabapple Tree

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Botany Baby!

Painting taking root...

Cactus seats.

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Greenfingers.

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

"Get out of my face!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.