Bacterial Believer Prints

'Oh-oh -- they're having a big war over which one of us to worship!'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

Sermon on the Grounds...

Bacteria fame at last.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

'At last conclusive proof sods law works - but only with a thick-sliced family loaf.'

Woman in hospital: Pick up a leaflet, Pick up a bug.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

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Heat and Food Poisoning

The Bacteria Bowl

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

"Turns out I'm not the wise old paramecium I thought I was."

"The yoghurt, does it contain bifidobacteriumi and lactobacillus bulgaricus?"

'We have praying mantises. They're good for the garden as long as they don't pray for the spinach.'

"I know what I'm talking about. That battery is dead."

"Lucky beast....No factory farming, no suffering at the slaughterhouse...perfect."

"I started this company in my parents basement. I kept a backup copy in case I ever need to start another."

Tell Santa What You Want. ... And tell your goof-off elves that last year they forgot the batteries!

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

Ooo, our kid's a special, more powerful variant, ooo. I swear, they tell us that every time we see them.

The Holy Trinity: Salt, Butter and Sugar.

'It's alright to do your regular work, Sanders, but haven't you caught on yet? The big money is in breakthrough.'

'What are YOU looking at?'

Wait Here. Employment Office. My belief that if you can't say something nice about a person you shouldn't say anything at all spelled doom for my career as a radio talk show host.

Coffee Hydrant